There’s uneducated; there’s stupid; there’s pig-ignorant … and then there’s Louie Gohmert

Posted on May 6, 2014


Usually, someone has to make an extraordinary ass of themselves for me to single them out for a truth attack (that’s what I call it when I use their own words and actions to make my case against them).  In the case of Texas Republican Congressman and certified 100-percent Grade-A asshat Louie Gohmert, that attack is lo-o-o-o-o-ong overdue.

What makes Gohmert the biggest dunce in the room isn’t his assembly line Tea Party positions. No, what makes Louis truly special is the abjectly absurd justifications for those positions:

  • Jesus hates taxes!
  • Gun control will lead to bestiality!
  • The American Jobs Act is an attack on marriage!
  • Obama talking to BP about the 2010 oil spill is just like Hitler!
  • Foreign aid to China will lead them to sell us food with cats and dogs in it
  • Oil pipelines are good for wildlife!
  • Hate crimes legislation leads to necrophilia!

Speaking at a fundraiser in Iowa for GO{ Senate candidate Sam Clovis last Friday, Gohmert said the following, and I quote:

[Our United States Constitution] only is fit for people who cling to their God and their guns, you know? So, it is deeply troubling if you get in these tough situations and you can’t trust your leadership.— Louie Gohmert, May 2, 2014.

Gohmert was attempting to paraphrase John Adams, who wrote in 1777, “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

One problem is that John Adams didn’t write the Constitution, nor the First Amendment, and nowhere did he cite or recommend any one religion in particular. The other problem is that Gohmert, as usual, is totally ignorant of the content and context of the words falling out of that anus under his nose.

There are certainly other Members of Congress who are more evil than Gohmert; Ted Cruz, Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Steve King come to mind. And there are very, very many who give batshit crazy people a bad name; Michele Bachmann and Steve Stockman come to mind. But none of them, despite the oh-so-many reasons they give me to loathe them, can hold a candle to Louie Gohmert when it comes to being simply too stupid to know how to sit the right way up on a toilet seat.

I’m being completely serious: I think Louie Gohmert is mentally retarded – functionally, clinically, socially and euphemistically. Is that mean? Who cares? It’s accurate. And to support my assertion, I give you a “greatest hits list” of the phenomenally and staggeringly stupid, ignorant and uninformed statements that Louie Gohmert has said in just two years in Congress.

In order to preserve Obamacare, the Obama administration will have to put people on lists where they will die waiting to get the treatment and care. This is where socialized medicine always goes. We will see the morality rate start coming down, you die earlier, not because it’s an actual death panel, but because you don’t get the treatment.” – Louie Gohmert, May 4, 2014

What’s funny is that, even if Gohmert had said “mortality rate,” it still wouldn’t have made any sense whatsoever. Although, I’m sure it’s just a matter of days before America’s premier dunce attributes the deaths of veterans at the V.A. hospital in Phoenix directly to Obamacare.

We should be taxing the poorest Americans. They don’t have any skin in the game. What if you’re so poor that the only money you have is what the government gives you? I wondered, isn’t that wasting money, you give it and you take it back? No, that gives you an investment in the country and we need that.” – Louie Gohmert, January 27, 2014

Now, I only have a Masters degree in Communication and 38 years of journalism experience. But isn’t that a bit of a contradiction?

The gloves have come off. There really is a war by this administration against not just the Catholic Church but the Christian Church. Under Obama, you can’t practice what you believe about birth control, about abortion, or anything. This administration will tell you what religious practices you can participate in and what you can’t. I understand that when you grow up in Indonesia, a lot of times you don’t get the American history that the rest of us got growing up here.” – Louie Gohmert, July 1, 2013

What’s remarkable is that immediately following this statement, Gohmert said that “nothing could convince him” that his church, and his god “aren’t the only ones worthy of being heard.”

From a philosophical standpoint, you know, we got these so-called ‘intellectuals’ on the court who are believed to support the idea that evolution is how mankind got here, and that there is an ongoing evolution occurring. I can’t just help but wonder, as these brilliant intellectuals have gotten to this point, how marriage between two men fits into the evolving of producing higher offspring that make the species higher and better. They’d be better off following what that old butter commercial used to say, ‘You shouldn’t mess with Mother Nature.’” – Louie Gohmert, July 1, 2013

Aside from the fact that the commercial’s catch phrase was “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature” and the product was actually margarine instead of butter (the whole point of the commercial) and the fact that nobody has suggested that America, or the world, should adopt 100 percent homosexual partnerships; there’s the extreme likelihood that the makers of Chiffon margarine were not trying to make a theocratic morality judgment on society.

It’s Israel that has fought against such racism and hatred. Secretary of Kerry stands for those who support the destruction of Israel. He has cursed Israel. He should not be speaking for this nation. Why does he think he has the authority to do that? He needs to stand down before he brings judgment against us.” – Louie Gohmert, April 30, 2014.

This one … I can’t even fathom how a sitting member of Congress could not know what authority the U.S. Secretary of State has, how he’s empowered in that role or what he’s authorized (and expected) to say and do.

This [anti-gay] law is a wonderful example of real freedom. People screaming for gay rights are so intolerant: You’ve seen it first-hand, there is nobody more intolerant in this country than those that are screaming for tolerance. Christians are not intolerant but whoa, goodness these people that have their leftist agenda can be shut down quickly and effectively. People like that shouldn’t be allowed to say whatever they want just because it suits their agenda.” – Louie Gohmert, April 4, 2014.

I gotta refer back to Gohmert’s assertion that it is Barack Obama who is telling people what they can say, when they can say it, and even if they should be allowed to say it.

The Obama administration just refuses to tell America the truth about what really happened in Benghazi. This president has lied to us, many times, about what they knew and when they knew it. He’s lied about what they’ve done to cover it up. Four brave Americans are dead because a president lied. That’s unprecedented. And their refusal to come clean just shows us that they’re all just a bunch of cowards.” – Louie Gohmert, August 5, 2013.

I have to hand it to Gomer on this one. Four Americans dying because a president lied *IS* unprecedented. The last time Americans dies because of a lying president, the death toll was in the tens of thousands. Later, in that same address, Gohmert said the fact that Republicans cut $300 Million from embassy security funding just a couple of months before the Benghazi attacks was “liberal hogwash.”

I could go on, and on, and on … and ON .. about just how much of a pathetic, babbling imbecile I think Louie Gohmert is, and I can give irrefutable, iron-clad evidence to support my opinion that Louie Gohmert is certifiably, the most ignorant and stupid member of the entire United States Congress.

… possibly in all of America.

… maybe the whole world.

This is the guy who said America was being threatened by “terror babies,” and wants to repeal the 17th Amendment, and asked a waiter at a Chinese restaurant if he was being served “moo goo dog pan.”

If I want to prove that Louie Gohmert is a moron, all I have to do is let Louie Gohmert speak.