Today’s sampling of Republican “truthiness”

Posted on August 1, 2012


Hey, do ya make less than a million bucks a year and wanna pay higher taxes? Then Mitt Romney’s your guy! If elected president, Romney will raise taxes on … ready for this?  … a full 95.7 percent of Americans, according to a new study of Romney’s stated tax plan assessed by the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center. However, if you’re lucky enough to be one of the wealthiest 5 percent, then congratulations—you’ll be getting *ANOTHER* tax cut!, over and above the Bush tax cuts you already have. So if you don’t want to pay a fairly assessed tax rate, then the answer’s really simple: Just go out and get horse-chokingly rich tomorrow.   Better yet, get rich retroactively. That way, you can take advantage of regressive tax cuts that Romney plans to implement with an effective date of June 1, 2002 for those making $1 million per year or more.  Don’t take my word for it. Take Mitt’s and The Washington Post’s.

Move over Nigerian Prince; there’s a new e-mail legend in town.  Tennessee Republican Rep. Kelly Keisling had oodles of apologies for his constituents and the entire country earlier today, begging forgiveness for using his state-funded e-mail account to forward a message to his constituents that includes, among other asinine accusations, a rumor that President Barack Obama plans to fake an assassination attempt on himself so he can invoke emergency nationwide martial law conditions to postpone the November election for as long as he deems necessary.  And, of course, no “Commie Socialist” president would declare martial law unless is was part of the Obama plot to “take away our guns.” And this e-mail wasn’t an oversight, or an accident, or a fluke. According to Keisling’s own senior aide, Keisling ordered his staff to send the e-mail to his campaign’s entire contact list.
Keisling dismisses criticism in his half-hearted mea culpa, calling his conscious decision to intentionally send what he says he recognized as “abn inflammatory message” nothing more than “a message that was inappropriate for distribution” and he promises he’ll “be more cautious regarding the information distributed from my office in the future.”
Thank you Representative Asshat for making a note to buy a fire hose after you already lit the fire.

Not to be outdone by Keisling in the ass-cheeks-resting-on-shoulders circuit, Iowa Republican Congressman Steve King has apparently decided that there’s nothing too stupid to fall out of that anus under his nose. King, who thinks that dog fighting should be Constitutionally protected, and said — on record — that he believes American immigration policy should mimic dog adoption techniques because “the U.S. should pick only the best immigrants the way one chooses the ‘pick of the litter’ so we know we’re only getting good immigrants,” now claims that Barack Obama’s parents perpetrated a massive international conspiracy by sending their son’s birth announcement to Hawaii newspapers via telegram from Kenya.
“It would have been awfully hard to fraudulently file the birth notice of Barack Obama being born in Hawaii and get that into our public libraries and that microfiche they keep of all the newspapers published. That doesn’t mean there aren’t some other explanations on how they might’ve announced that by telegram from Kenya.” While admitting there is no proof whatsoever to support his claim, King insists it simply must be true because of how Obama “has had a charmed life since birth, and was groomed for undeserved greatness his whole life.”  How far have we fallen when a news cycle can include “a story that’s so preposterous that it simply *has* to be true”?
You have to give King some credit. It takes a STAGGERING amount of ignorance and stupidity to make Donald Trump seem rational.

You just KNOW it’s a slow news week when you can predict on Wednesday what the Fox News most-prominent headlines are going to be on Friday. Get ready for it, because by the weekend, you’re going to hear about (or possibly even read, if you’re one of those elitist snobs who actually *reads*) that President Obama has arranged for Cuban Communist leader Fidel Castro to give the keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention in September.  Pay no attention to the fact that it’s not Fidel Castro, or even his son Raul — but San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro — who will give the speech.  It’s a much-more effective ratings-booster and idiot-convincer to go with the more inflammatory Fidel Castro claim, even when you know ahead of time that it’s completely untrue.
It’s the same programming mentality at Fox that has brought us more than a week’s worth of “news” coverage of Obama saying “If you own a business, you didn’t build that” and pretending that’s *ALL* he said, when the video you’ve conveniently edited to be grossly out of context proves that it isn’t.
This is what happens when the corporate cronies who dictate the Fox News content base their entire philosophy on that the famous line of dialogue from “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance” — “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.”  Just change “legend” to “lie,” and you’ve mastered Fox News 101.

And, for my final dig into Mitt Romney’s sheer, unadulterated hypocrisy (for tonight, at least), I’m going to give you yet another piece of video of Mitt Romney saying almost the EXACT SAME WORDS that he bashes Barack Obama for using.
As I mentioned above, Fox News has been having a field day, repeating and regurgitating, over and over and over, the grossly out-of-context “report” of Obama saying “If you have a business, you didn’t build that” and pretending it’s the entirety of Obama’s message.
Well, here’s Mitt Romney at the opening ceremonies of the 2004 Olympics saying, “You Olympians, however, you know you didn’t get here solely on your own power. For most of you … communities built venues and organized competitions. All Olympians stand on the shoulders of those who lifted them.”
So, detracting from the accomplishments of Olympic athletes and saying the real champions are the support people who helped them get there, that’s A-OK in Mitt’s book. But saying the exact same thing about small business owners is a hanging offense.
It’s right there in the video, at 1 minute and 39 seconds.
Darn that liberal media for not printing what Romney MEANS instead of the bungled mess that continually falls out of his caviar hole.