Let’s put Occam’s razor to BP’s throat

Posted on June 3, 2010


Maybe this idea is just too simple and makes too much sense to be viable.

Why can’t BP use their billion-dollar robots to just lower a reinforced hose over the now cleanly cut opening of the pipe and have all the oil drain into a collector tank or oil tanker on the surface?

That would at least stop the environmental devastation, allow real clean-up to begin, allow them to dredge the existing oil out of the water, and give them time to come up with a solution that ISN’T some half-assed Willy Wonka contraption.

Occam’s Razor:  “Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem.”  That’s Latin for, “Entities should not be multiplied more than necessary.”  In other words, the fewer assumptions an explanation of a phenomenon depends on, the better it is.  In other, other words, with all things being equal, the simplest explanation or solution tends to be the best.

But I’m just a humble wordsmith looking at America’s worst environmental disaster in history and watching a bunch of profit-protecting plutocrat executives fumble and fail as the Gulf of Mexico fills up with more oil than there is in the hair of the cast members of “Jersey Shore.”

It’s painfully simple:  If you can’t close the gusher, at least redirect what it’s gushing to a logical containment.

I have to think that “hose over pipe” is far easier to accomplish than “stuff pipe full of golf balls.”

But let’s approach the problem from the “best and brightest minds we have on this” viewpoint:  Maybe we should just build a gigantic underwater water-filtering mesh that completely encloses the Gulf of Mexico, leave the pipe gushing unobstructed, and let the entire gulf become one giant oil pool.  Then we build a couple of refineries around it and BINGO, problem solved — and thousands of jobs are created.

Does anyone know the e-mail address or phone number to get in touch with the head thunk in the think tank? These ideas of mine are gold!  Or, black gold, as the case may be.

Posted in: Errata