It’s a novel thought to realize that maybe – just maybe – you’re not someone who is perpetually in need of repair.
What if the real grunt work of self-improvement is simply being acutely aware of the things one thinks, feels, says and does?
I decided to put this thought to the test by making myself aware of the first feeling that came along. As it turned out, my first brain guest was the feeling of horny (imagine my surprise). I was aware that I was horny. But, my awareness told me I was not so much horny as lonely. And the loneliness was really just a deep-seeded fear that I am unworthy of being loved
Suddenly, I no longer felt horny. Now I felt hungry. But not so much hungry as impatient. And not so much impatient as irritated. And not so much irritated as sad. And the sadness was really just a deep-seeded fear that I am unworthy of being loved … by anyone. Which caused me to no longer feel sad.
Now I feel insane. But, that’s okay because I’m aware of it.
Gary St. Lawrence
Elizabeth Welsh
November 13, 2009
Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.